[x]
All Deviations


I love you
You love me not
I took a chance
You broke my heart

I spilled my heart
Tried something new
You didn't know
That you were you

Like a needle
In the hay
I'll try again
Some other day

I will not help
Until I've won
This unfair war
That love's begun

But if you love
Her and not me
I'll give up love
And let it be

And if my heart
Decides to break
I'll tell myself
"I will not hate"

I feel so desperate
Crazed and confused
My heart's been unkempt
Worn and bruised

So hear me now
Rhythm and Rhyme
It turns out love's
A waste of time

Maybe love's
Just not for me
So I'll stop now
I'll let it be

But if YOU find
My words are true
Come find me
I'll talk to you
©2008 ~Umbreonic
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Submitted: May 12
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Comments: 11
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Author's Comments

Ok, this is the thing that I submitted to Harbringer. It's a little messed up and off-meter in some places, but yeah.
And I don't know if this is the actual thing that I submitted, since I know that I did some really quick revising to it before I handed it in to Amy, and I apparently didn't make the changes to this copy. Think of this as a rough draft? The one in the journal is right, though, so whoever has the journal, could you check and post the corrections? (and I decieded to take the "someone tried to help" stanza out, since I didn't like it >.>;)

I'm going through and perfecting it with some stuff that I've been learning in English, so maybe I'll get around to that soon...

PS, someone please explain what "fixed poetry" is...that's the deviation type that I submitted it under, since nothing else seemed to fit >.<

I feel like I should do this...so here it is
"I" (c) Me
"He" (c) Himself (*cough*namelycharliewwwwwww*cough*)
[x]

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

~LulzDefender:iconLulzDefender: May 12, 2008, 2:17:22 PM
I believe fixed poetry is if it has a specific regulated amount of syllables or words per line or per stanza.

This would be an end rhyme poem

but I'm not sure if they have that in the options

If all else fails

just put it in free verse. :B


--
Everything has meaning.
Existence has meaning.
Being alive has meaning.
Have dreams, use power.

-Pokemon Fire Red (lulz)
~Umbreonic:iconUmbreonic: May 13, 2008, 1:13:34 PM
I hate when dA makes us choose like that... >.<

--
its_kitty_time, Kara, Karibou, or "You, with the shoes"

"So you're pretty good at Engineering, right?"
"Yes"
"Ok, so I've got this golf cart...."
~LulzDefender:iconLulzDefender: May 13, 2008, 1:16:52 PM
I know

I just want to put it in misscellaneous

AND THEN IT'S ALL LIKE

OMG LOL NO U HAV TO CHOSE A CATAGORY OAR ELSE WE PUT IT IN SCRAPS


--
Everything has meaning.
Existence has meaning.
Being alive has meaning.
Have dreams, use power.

-Pokemon Fire Red (lulz)
~Umbreonic:iconUmbreonic: May 13, 2008, 1:19:13 PM
Yeah.
IT'S NOT FAIR T__T

--
its_kitty_time, Kara, Karibou, or "You, with the shoes"

"So you're pretty good at Engineering, right?"
"Yes"
"Ok, so I've got this golf cart...."
~LulzDefender:iconLulzDefender: May 13, 2008, 1:24:00 PM
Alright, here's my running hitlist now

1. Love
2. DeviantArt category thing

AND THIS DEVIATION DEALS WITH BOTH! D:


--
Everything has meaning.
Existence has meaning.
Being alive has meaning.
Have dreams, use power.

-Pokemon Fire Red (lulz)
~Umbreonic:iconUmbreonic: May 13, 2008, 1:26:25 PM
>.<

--
its_kitty_time, Kara, Karibou, or "You, with the shoes"

"So you're pretty good at Engineering, right?"
"Yes"
"Ok, so I've got this golf cart...."
~LulzDefender:iconLulzDefender: May 13, 2008, 1:35:09 PM
NO

Its a good thing

We can kill both in one hit.:iconlarryplz:


ONE HIT K.O.!


--
Everything has meaning.
Existence has meaning.
Being alive has meaning.
Have dreams, use power.

-Pokemon Fire Red (lulz)
~Umbreonic:iconUmbreonic: May 13, 2008, 1:53:46 PM
...?

--
its_kitty_time, Kara, Karibou, or "You, with the shoes"

"So you're pretty good at Engineering, right?"
"Yes"
"Ok, so I've got this golf cart...."
~LulzDefender:iconLulzDefender: May 13, 2008, 5:41:17 PM
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PLAYS POKEMON

YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS


--
Everything has meaning.
Existence has meaning.
Being alive has meaning.
Have dreams, use power.

-Pokemon Fire Red (lulz)